Reactive and Response Modes

In life, we have essentially two psychological modes that we are in most of the time: reactive and responsive. The reactive mode is the one that feels stressful. In it, we feel pressured and are quick to judge. We lose perspective and take things personally. We're annoyed, bothered, and frustrated.

Needless to say, our judgment and decision making capacity is severely impaired when we are in a reactive state of mind. We make quick decisions that we often regret. We annoy other people and tend to bring out the worst in them. When an opportunity knocks, we are usually too overwhelmed or frustrated to see it. If we do see it, we're usually overly critical and negative.
source: unknwon
The responsive mode, on the other hand, is our most relaxed state of mind. Being responsive suggests that we have our bearings. We see the bigger picture and take things less personally. Rather than being rigid and stubborn, we are flexible and calm. In the responsive mode, we are at our best. We bring out the best in others and solve problems gracefully. When an opportunity comes our way, our mind is open. We are receptive to new ideas.

Once you are aware of these two drastically different modes of being. You will begin to notice which one you are in. You'll also notice the predictability of your behavior and feelings when you are in each mode. You'll observe yourself being irrational and negative in your reactive mode and calm and wise in your responsive state of mind

The 5 Qualities of Remarkable Bosses

Consistently do these five things and the results you want from your employees--and your business--will follow.
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Remarkable bosses aren’t great on paper. Great bosses are remarkable based on their actions.

Results are everything—but not the results you might think.
Consistently do these five things and everything else follows. You and your business benefit greatly.

More importantly, so do your employees.

1. Develop every employee. Sure, you can put your primary focus on reaching targets, achieving results, and accomplishing concrete goals—but do that and you put your leadership cart before your achievement horse.
Without great employees, no amount of focus on goals and targets will ever pay off. Employees can only achieve what they are capable of achieving, so it’s your job to help all your employees be more capable so they—and your business—can achieve more.
It's your job to provide the training, mentoring, and opportunities your employees need and deserve. When you do, you transform the relatively boring process of reviewing results and tracking performance into something a lot more meaningful for your employees: Progress, improvement, and personal achievement.
So don’t worry about reaching performance goals. Spend the bulk of your time developing the skills of your employees and achieving goals will be a natural outcome.
Plus it’s a lot more fun.

2. Deal with problems immediately. Nothing kills team morale more quickly than problems that don't get addressed. Interpersonal squabbles, performance issues, feuds between departments... all negatively impact employee motivation and enthusiasm.
And they're distracting, because small problems never go away. Small problems always fester and grow into bigger problems. Plus, when you ignore a problem your employees immediately lose respect for you, and without respect, you can't lead.
Never hope a problem will magically go away, or that someone else will deal with it. Deal with every issue head-on, no matter how small.

3. Rescue your worst employee. Almost every business has at least one employee who has fallen out of grace: Publicly failed to complete a task, lost his cool in a meeting, or just can’t seem to keep up. Over time that employee comes to be seen by his peers—and by you—as a weak link.

While that employee may desperately want to “rehabilitate” himself, it's almost impossible. The weight of team disapproval is too heavy for one person to move.
But it’s not too heavy for you.

Before you remove your weak link from the chain, put your full effort into trying to rescue that person instead. Say, "John, I know you've been struggling but I also know you're trying. Let's find ways together that can get you where you need to be." Express confidence. Be reassuring. Most of all, tell him you'll be there every step of the way.
Don't relax your standards. Just step up the mentoring and coaching you provide.
If that seems like too much work for too little potential outcome, think of it this way. Your remarkable employees don’t need a lot of your time; they’re remarkable because they already have these qualities. If you’re lucky, you can get a few percentage points of extra performance from them. But a struggling employee has tons of upside; rescue him and you make a tremendous difference.
Granted, sometimes it won't work out. When it doesn't, don't worry about it.  The effort is its own reward.

And occasionally an employee will succeed—and you will have made a tremendous difference in a person's professional and personal life.
Can’t beat that.

4. Serve others, not yourself. You can get away with being selfish or self-serving once or twice... but that's it.
Never say or do anything that in any way puts you in the spotlight, however briefly. Never congratulate employees and digress for a few moments to discuss what you did.
If it should go without saying, don't say it. Your glory should always be reflected, never direct.
When employees excel, you and your business excel. When your team succeeds, you and your business succeed. When you rescue a struggling employee and they become remarkable, remember they should be congratulated, not you.
You were just doing your job the way a remarkable boss should.
When you consistently act as if you are less important than your employees—and when you never ask employees to do something you don’t do—everyone knows how important you really are.

5. Always remember where you came from. See an autograph seeker blown off by a famous athlete and you might think, “If I was in a similar position I would never do that.”
Oops. Actually, you do. To some of your employees, especially new employees, you are at least slightly famous. You’re in charge. You’re the boss.
That's why an employee who wants to talk about something that seems inconsequential may just want to spend a few moments with you.
When that happens, you have a choice. You can blow the employee off... or you can see the moment for its true importance: A chance to inspire, reassure, motivate, and even give someone hope for greater things in their life. The higher you rise the greater the impact you can make—and the greater your responsibility to make that impact.
In the eyes of his or her employees, a remarkable boss is a star.
Remember where you came from, and be gracious with your stardom.

Relationship With Parents.

1. Never be disrespectful to parents. Do not say a harsh word to them.

2. Even if parents are unjust, it is not lawful for children to ill-treat, disobey or displease them.

3. Obey them in all lawful things. If they instruct you to do anything which is unlawful in the Shariah, then politely and with respect and apology decline. Never refuse rudely nor argue with them.

4. When parents abuse, scold or even beat their children, they should submit to such treatment with humility. Never should they utter a word af disrespect or complaint, nor should they display on their faces any indication of disgust or anger. Bear their treatment in silence and with patience. Make dua for them.

5. Assist them in all lawful ways even if they happen to be non-Muslims.

6. Whenever you see them, greet them.

7. If you are living with them, take their permission before

8. If you are engaged in Nafl Salaat and your parents call you, break your Salaat and answer their call even if there is no urgency or importance in their call. If you are performing Fardh Salaat and you detect urgency in theircall, then break even the Fardh Salaat to answertheir call.

9. Do not call them on their names. Address them with a title of respect and honour.

10. After their death, make Dua-e-Maghfirat for them. Pray for their forgiveness and within your means, practisevirtuous deeds with the intention of the thawaab thereof being bestowed on them by Allah Ta'ala.

11. Pay the debts of your parents.

12. If they had made any lawful wasiyyat (bequest), fulfil it if you are by the means to do so.

13. Be kind, respectful and helpful to the friends of your parents.

14. When entering the private room of parents, seek their permission before entering.

15. Always be cheerful in their presence.

16. Speak kindly and tenderly with them.

17. When speaking to parents, keep your gaze low. Do not stare them in the face.

18. Do not raise your voice above the voices of your parents.

19. Be humble in their presence.

20. When accompanying parents on a walk, do not walk in front of them nor on their right or left side. Walk slightly behind them.

21. Even in their absence speak highly and respectfully of them.

22. Do not give preference to the wife over them (this does not apply to the rights of the wife). Where parents instruct their son to violate or discard the obligatory rights of his wife, it will not be permissible to obey them in this case. – Transla tors).

23. Always endeavour to keep them happy.

24. Do not embark on a journey without their permission.

25. When they question you, do not inconvenience them by delaying your reply.

26. It is highly disrespectful to refrain from answering them.

27. If at any time you were disrespectful to your parents, regret your action and hasten to obtain their pardon