Monday, November 19, 2012

Top10 Most Common Regrets in Life

The life we live is the legacy we leave behind. Everyday counts for something, and every relationship has meaning. No one wants to live in mediocrity, with their dreams and aspirations deteriorating behind the façade of a day to day rat race. At the end of life, many people express regrets, wishing for a second chance to get it right. In reality, there is no second chance; we have to get it right the first time. These are the top ten regrets most likely to change the course of someone's life.

1. Never Resolving a Conflict

The number one regret a person can have is not resolving a conflict. Countless funerals are full of regretful friends and family that never got the chance to right a wrong. Bitterness can sour a lifetime of memories, wedging itself in between relationships and people that love each other. Don't let anger last a lifetime.

2. Not Spending Enough Family Time

For many people sending their kids off to college, or watching them get married can conjure thoughts of times growing up as a young family. Often work can come in the way of family time, resulting in distance between husbands, wives and children. Inserting a family day into a weekly schedule and making time for family vacations each year can prevent a person from having such a strong regret.

3. Not Landing a Dream Job

Going to college for years and getting a degree leads a person to begin seeking work in the field of their dreams. However, often employers are not hiring in limited fields, leaving post grads to find work in other occupations. What starts out as temporary can become permanent, with salaries and benefits luring employees into a lifelong commitment to a single company. While the money may be great, a job can feel like a rut if it isn't the job you longed for.

4. Not Saving Enough Money

For many people in their twenties or thirties, retirement seems like a distant future, not an impending reality. They may choose to defer retirement savings into other purchases for immediate gratification. This can turn into a disaster during the golden years, when money can often be tight. This is an easy regret to avoid by setting up automated investments into an IRA throughout the working years.

5. Not Having Children

Children are often viewed as distractions or inconveniences, getting in the way of careers and personal goals. Though it may seem like a good idea to not have kids, the choice can leave a person very lonely as they begin to age. It is a natural human desire to wish to leave a heritage with descendents, so be careful in choosing to put off having children.

6. Never Taking up a Sport or Hobby

Countless little boys spend their youth community sports, dreaming of one day playing for a professional league. Though not everyone has what it takes to be a professional, there are other ways to incorporate a passion for sports or other hobbies such as learning to play an instrument, or taking on a second language.

7. Never Telling Someone You Love Them

There is nothing like going to the grave, remembering "the one that got away." Sometimes it can be hard to express true feelings for someone if the outcome could mean rejection. However, holding it all inside will leave heart aching for closure. It is better to share your heart with a loved one, rather than miss out on a chance at happiness.

8. Never Traveling

Growing up, most people dream of visiting an exotic island, backpacking through Europe, experiencing the Great Wall of China, or finding love in the city of Paris. Travel is a healthy ambition that creates memories to last a lifetime. Failing to travel to a dream destination can leave a lifetime of regrets. Don't let financial circumstances or life events keep you from visiting the places that you love.

9. Never Getting a Degree

A small percentage of people successfully graduate high school, go to college, and acquire the degree that they set out for. Life circumstances can get in the way, with some students quitting college to get married, have children or go to work, never returning to school. For people who take pride in education and intelligence, having a degree is proof of their capabilities and accomplishment. It is never too late to go back to school and get the degree you always wanted.

10. Never Buying the dream home

Everyone has an idea of the perfect home in the perfect location. Maybe it's a luxurious Manhattan apartment full of chic and modern furnishings. Or perhaps it's a three story beach house overlooking the Pacific with a mountainous backdrop and scenic views. Settling for a suburban track home may be less than the expectations of an average American. One of the biggest regrets a person can have is not raising a family in the dream location they once desired

Sugar coated person or a genuine human being?

"Remember the next time you decide to give someone a chance whether it be for work or for friendship, go for the real thing and not the sugar-coated one"

These lines triggered some thoughts in my mind on what points to consider in differentiating between the genuine personality and sugar-coated human. Below are my suggestions:


  1. One or two observations are not enough to conclude. Take some time.
  2. Instead of observing actions, check the habits. Sometimes actions may not portray the genuine inner personality; however habits can predict the character. Because habits trigger repetitive actions which transform into the overall personality. 
  3. Sometimes sugar coating is not done because of specific evil benefits instead may be it is because of ethical causes. Don't think negative about such person; appreciate instead.
  4. Look for ethical characteristics such as honesty, truthfulness, friendliness, down-to-earth.
  5. Instead of using your eyes, use brain. Think logical and think carefully in concluding about someone.

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The Danger of Self-Justification

All of us – to a greater or lesser extent – have a tendency to justify and rationalize our mistakes. It is part of our mindset that makes us try to flee from criticism and from having to make amends. At the very least, we sometimes try to find an excuse for our errors instead of shouldering the full weight of the blame. 

This mindset can surface in all kinds of situations, even in our most private thoughts. It is a mindset bolstered and nourished by emotion, and if it comes to dominate our thinking, we can lose the ability to distinguish right from wrong. 

This is because the power of emotional sentiment and self-interest, when coupled with a self-justifying mindset, is persuasive and dangerous. A person with this frame of mind is always ready to cover up his bad deeds or make them seem less onerous than they really are. The person does this at the expense of reason and logic. He ceases to think clearly. He only sees what serves his selfish interests, what absolves him from blame and responsibility. 

In his mind, the fault is always someone else's. Worse still, it is never just an innocent mistake. That other person is always deliberately and maliciously in the wrong and without any excuse. 

When we let our thoughts take us in this dangerous direction, we cease to be self-critical. Instead of acknowledging our mistakes and resolving to avoid them in the future, we become determined to commit the same mistake again and again. 

The most serious problem is a person's ability to justify to himself his deliberate errors and misdeeds. It is possible for a person to convince himself that his worst transgressions and acts of injustice are true and correct. He can reconcile in his mind the most blatant contradictions with far-fetched interpretations that make integrity and deception synonymous terms. He ceases to distinguish his rights from the rights of others, his personal interests from the needs of society. 

The self-justifying mind is one of oversimplifications. It is also very dismissive. It plays down the harm that one's bad and selfish deeds causes for other people, for society, and for the environment. When it cannot deny that harm, it always finds a way to rationalize it. By doing so, it belies the basic values and ethics that the person would otherwise be very well aware of and that are essential for the proper functioning of human society. 

Turning a blind eye to one's mistakes is an easy way to avoid guilty feelings and a sense of responsibility. However, this means that those mistakes will never be confronted and remedied. They invariably becoming larger, uglier, and more deeply-entrenched over time. Ignoring mistakes or justifying them does not make those mistakes go away. The only way we can make positive changes within ourselves is to be true to ourselves and in our dealings with others.

Criticism - The creativity Killer?

Ideally speaking, Criticism is the act of analyzing someone or something (such as an article, video, book, product  service etc) with the intention of improving personnel, product or services. However in the day to day life, you will meet so many people criticizing with the negative intentions. For example they do this to defame, discourage and de-motivate others. So it is usually used in negative sense although criticizing does not necessarily means to find fault. In this article I shall give my comments in two categories. First, when you are being criticized and second when you are criticizing:

 

1-  When you are being criticized:

a)    Take it positive. There is  a chance that your well wisher has rightly drawn your attention to something for which there is a dire need for improvement. If this is the case, be grateful to the person who helped you identified the aspect of improvement and move towards the corrective actions.

b)   There is a chance that the criticism is being done just to depress you. Analyze is carefully. If required, seek advice from some friend or colleague about this negative feedback. If feedback meant to be good, see point-1 else shun it right way not allowing you to disturb your peace of mind.

 

 

2-  When you are criticizing someone/something:

a)    Always remember that negative criticism results in generation of negative energies so try to criticize in a positive and encouraging manager. Do not become the 'full-stop' for someone's creativity.

b)   Whenever you are about to criticize; ask yourself whether your intention is to help assist the person or you are just going to spread negativity which will consequently result in corrosion on someone's creative skills.

c)    If you really want to criticize someone, do it in an encouraging way. Try to give your comments in multiple groups so that the person understands your feedback and segregate it easily so that he can transform your suggestions in to corrective actions.

d)   Remember the fact that the act of complaining is taking criticism to the next level which is even more damaging and dangerous. So try to remain inside the limits of criticism instead of complaints.

 

Having said that, there are bad mouthed people who are in habit of constant criticism, regardless of their mental comprehension of things. Be aware of them. They are polluting not only themselves but the environment as well and ultimately impacting you, your product, your skills and/or your services. They are spreading negativity.

Closing my article with the famous quote that says "Instead of criticizing others, become the change you wish to see in the world"

14 Great Reasons To Get Motivated And Stay Motivated

Why should you bother to spend your valuable time to learn how to get motivated and stay motivated?
Here´s why.
Your quality of life will change dramatically when you take charge of how motivated you feel in any given moment.
Family and friends will respect you more and see you in a whole new light. And deadline frenzy will be a thing of the past.
There are several good reasons to learn the secrets to getting motivated and staying motivated.
What Learning How To Get Motivated And Stay Motivated Can Do For You
1. Earn the respect of your boss and colleagues. As a dependable and productive member of the team people will appreciate you and seek your valuable advice on important matters.
2. Understand what motivates you and enjoy greater success. When you discover your unique motivation blueprint getting ahead will never be a mystery again. You can fire up your motivation engine whenever you choose to.
3. Save money by getting things done on time. You will eliminate those late fees, fines and charges that procrastinators waste their hard earned money on.
4. Enjoy a more harmonious home life. Imagine hearing praise and gratitude for all the little things you get done around the house. You will enjoy a satisfying feeling of accomplishment at the end of each evening.
5. Feel in charge of you life. As you get more done with ease you will have order where you used to have chaos. You will know what you want and feel compelled to move ahead and get it.
6. Start new projects with enthusiasm and stay motivated over time. When you can see things through to completion you will have renewed confidence in your ability to succeed.
7. Stay motivated in the face of challenges and negative people. Setbacks and unsupportive colleagues or friends will make you even more determined when you know how to stay motivated.
8. Avoid the criticism, endless nagging and moaning of those around you. When you easily and effortlessly get things done you give people little reason to criticize you. In fact they are likely to give you more freedom to do things your way.
9. Stop things getting any worse. When you know how to be highly motivated in a matter of seconds, you can turn around situations you have neglected in the past.
10. Develop leadership skills and positively affect those around you. Your drive and enthusiasm will touch everyone you deal with. People will turn to you for leadership and guidance.
11. Eliminate problems while they are small. You will deal with potential problems and concerns sooner rather than later. This habit alone will put you back in control.
12. Put an end to regrets. Become the kind of person who jumps on opportunities. And enjoy the excitement and passion you feel when you are giving 100%.
13. Move ahead quickly in your career. When you can calmly and efficiently get your work done, you position yourself for more responsibility and a higher salary.
14. Feel fantastic about yourself. As a motivated self-starter your self-esteem will soar. You will accomplish much more, have greater success and live a full life.
*** Motivation is an essential life skill and you can discover how to be motivated and stay motivated. ***
Although some lucky people seem to be born highly motivated, if you are of at least average intelligence you can learn how to be motivated. No matter how unmotivated you have been up to now.
The secret to being motivated is to discover the motivation blueprint that is right for you.

How to handle problemtic child

How to handle problemtic child

 

Is it difficult to cope with your child's ill temper? Here are ways you can deal with it without using the rod
 
PROBLEM CHILD: Ignorance is the best remedy for tantrums
 
 
 
Some children often have tantrums to prove that they're grownup and dislike being given directions by adults. You know your child has a full-blown temper when he/she cries excessively, screams and even at times hurt themselves. Curb your child's tantrum by handling it the right way.
STICK TO A PLAN It is important that parents stick to certain ground rules. If your child knows before hand that certain things are not acceptable by you, they will never try crossing paths with you regarding the same. Also, always make sure you have a solid reason for your decision. Don't just state it in order to be authoritative.
DON'T MOCK, YEll OR HIT Showing that you have authority by screaming at them or beating them up will just do no good. Some parents also replicate the behaviour of their child, thus giving them opportunity to throw more tantrums. Don't respond to their bad behaviour, they will know you're paying attention and will increase their tantrum.
PERSISTENCE IS THE KEY Never feel sorry for not meeting the demands of your child. It is important to realise that it is about fulfiling your child's needs more than their wants. Trust us, your child will be thankful for this when they become matured.
EXPLAIN THE SITUATION LATER Once your child is back to normal and has cooled down, make them understand that having tantrums is not a good behaviour, especially for children. Get your child to listen to what you have to say. Do talk to them in a calm manner and treat them with love and affection

 

Tips for Eye Care

With so many of us spending lots of time in front of the computer every day it comes to no surprise that research is showing a rise in visual problems. What can one do? First, it's important to find out how you can protect your eyes through eye health exams and by making a few minor changes in your computer viewing habits.

Here are some helpful Eye Care Tips -
 
Positioning is everything
Correct positioning of your computer, keyboard and typing copy is essential. Your screen should be positioned about an arm's length from your eyes and 20 degrees below eye level. Consider foot and wrist rests for added comfort.
 
Lighting can make all the difference
Room lighting should be diffuse, not direct, to reduce glare and reflections from your screen. Look into an internal or external glare screen and be sure to set your colour, contrast and brightness levels to suit you.
 
 
A little extra help for your glasses
Anti-reflective coatings on the lenses of your glasses can be applied by your optometrist to reduce discomfort and to ease reduced vision from bright and/or flickering light sources such as VDTs and fluorescent lights. And don't forget, your doctor of optometry can talk to you about eyeglasses designed specifically for people who use computers a lot.
 
 
Take time out, our 20-20-20 rule
Step I :-
After every 20 minutes of looking into the computer screen, turn your
Head and try to look at any object placed at least 20 feet away. This
Changes the focal length of your eyes, a must-do for the tired eyes.

Step II :-
Try and blink your eyes for 20 times in succession, to moisten them.

Step III :-
Time permitting of course, one should walk 20 paces after every 20 minutes
Of sitting in one particular posture. Helps blood circulation for the entire body.
 
 
It's all in the blinking
Did you know that on average we blink 12 times per minute? But wait, did you know that when we're on the computer we only blink 5 times per minute? That can add up to dry eyes. Relieve the discomfort by using artificial tear drops or gels and remember to blink!
 
 
Palming
Sit straight at your workstation and rub your palms against each other till you feel them warm. The warmth of your palms helps soothe and relax tired eyes. Then, lightly cup your eyes with your palms and relax for 60 seconds. Count the seconds in your mind. Repeat this exercise two to three times whenever your eyes feel tired, or as often as you want. While palming, you can either rest your elbows on your desk or keep away from the desk and cup your eyes. Both ways are fine.
 
 
Splash water on your face
During breaks, splash water on your face while closing your eyes. This has an overall relaxing effect and helps you feel refreshed.
 
 
 
Use tea bags
Keep two used tea bags in the refrigerator before you leave for work. Once you are home, place the tea bags on your eyes for a few minutes as you relax. This not only soothes tired eyes, but also reduces puffiness.
 
 
Eat healthy
Incorporate Vitamins A, C, and E on a daily basis; eat citrus fruits, green leafy veggies, tomatoes, spinach, poultry and dairy products. Pack a box of chopped carrots, cucumber and fresh fruits and munch in-between meals at the office.
Have a nice day!!!!

source Unknown

Some tips for personal and professional life

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want. 


Six ways to make people like you.

 
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person.
the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely. 



Win people to your way of thinking

1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, 
"You're wrong."
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
10. Appeal to the nobler motives.
11. Dramatize your ideas.
12. Throw down a challenge. 



A leader's job often includes changing your people's 
attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:

1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the other person save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest. 

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