Top10 Most Common Regrets in Life

The life we live is the legacy we leave behind. Everyday counts for something, and every relationship has meaning. No one wants to live in mediocrity, with their dreams and aspirations deteriorating behind the façade of a day to day rat race. At the end of life, many people express regrets, wishing for a second chance to get it right. In reality, there is no second chance; we have to get it right the first time. These are the top ten regrets most likely to change the course of someone's life.

1. Never Resolving a Conflict

The number one regret a person can have is not resolving a conflict. Countless funerals are full of regretful friends and family that never got the chance to right a wrong. Bitterness can sour a lifetime of memories, wedging itself in between relationships and people that love each other. Don't let anger last a lifetime.

2. Not Spending Enough Family Time

For many people sending their kids off to college, or watching them get married can conjure thoughts of times growing up as a young family. Often work can come in the way of family time, resulting in distance between husbands, wives and children. Inserting a family day into a weekly schedule and making time for family vacations each year can prevent a person from having such a strong regret.

3. Not Landing a Dream Job

Going to college for years and getting a degree leads a person to begin seeking work in the field of their dreams. However, often employers are not hiring in limited fields, leaving post grads to find work in other occupations. What starts out as temporary can become permanent, with salaries and benefits luring employees into a lifelong commitment to a single company. While the money may be great, a job can feel like a rut if it isn't the job you longed for.

4. Not Saving Enough Money

For many people in their twenties or thirties, retirement seems like a distant future, not an impending reality. They may choose to defer retirement savings into other purchases for immediate gratification. This can turn into a disaster during the golden years, when money can often be tight. This is an easy regret to avoid by setting up automated investments into an IRA throughout the working years.

5. Not Having Children

Children are often viewed as distractions or inconveniences, getting in the way of careers and personal goals. Though it may seem like a good idea to not have kids, the choice can leave a person very lonely as they begin to age. It is a natural human desire to wish to leave a heritage with descendents, so be careful in choosing to put off having children.

6. Never Taking up a Sport or Hobby

Countless little boys spend their youth community sports, dreaming of one day playing for a professional league. Though not everyone has what it takes to be a professional, there are other ways to incorporate a passion for sports or other hobbies such as learning to play an instrument, or taking on a second language.

7. Never Telling Someone You Love Them

There is nothing like going to the grave, remembering "the one that got away." Sometimes it can be hard to express true feelings for someone if the outcome could mean rejection. However, holding it all inside will leave heart aching for closure. It is better to share your heart with a loved one, rather than miss out on a chance at happiness.

8. Never Traveling

Growing up, most people dream of visiting an exotic island, backpacking through Europe, experiencing the Great Wall of China, or finding love in the city of Paris. Travel is a healthy ambition that creates memories to last a lifetime. Failing to travel to a dream destination can leave a lifetime of regrets. Don't let financial circumstances or life events keep you from visiting the places that you love.

9. Never Getting a Degree

A small percentage of people successfully graduate high school, go to college, and acquire the degree that they set out for. Life circumstances can get in the way, with some students quitting college to get married, have children or go to work, never returning to school. For people who take pride in education and intelligence, having a degree is proof of their capabilities and accomplishment. It is never too late to go back to school and get the degree you always wanted.

10. Never Buying the dream home

Everyone has an idea of the perfect home in the perfect location. Maybe it's a luxurious Manhattan apartment full of chic and modern furnishings. Or perhaps it's a three story beach house overlooking the Pacific with a mountainous backdrop and scenic views. Settling for a suburban track home may be less than the expectations of an average American. One of the biggest regrets a person can have is not raising a family in the dream location they once desired

Sugar coated person or a genuine human being?

"Remember the next time you decide to give someone a chance whether it be for work or for friendship, go for the real thing and not the sugar-coated one"

These lines triggered some thoughts in my mind on what points to consider in differentiating between the genuine personality and sugar-coated human. Below are my suggestions:

1. One or two observations are not enough to conclude. Take some time.
2. Instead of observing actions, check the habits. Sometimes actions may not portray the genuine inner personality; however habits can predict the character. Because habits trigger repetitive actions which transform into the overall personality. 
3. Sometimes sugar coating is not done because of specific evil benefits instead may be it is because of ethical causes. Don't think negative about such person; appreciate instead.
4. Look for ethical characteristics such as honesty, truthfulness, friendliness, down-to-earth.
5. Instead of using your eyes, use brain. Think logical and think carefully in concluding about someone.

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The Danger of Self-Justification

All of us – to a greater or lesser extent – have a tendency to justify and rationalize our mistakes. It is part of our mindset that makes us try to flee from criticism and from having to make amends. At the very least, we sometimes try to find an excuse for our errors instead of shouldering the full weight of the blame. 

This mindset can surface in all kinds of situations, even in our most private thoughts. It is a mindset bolstered and nourished by emotion, and if it comes to dominate our thinking, we can lose the ability to distinguish right from wrong. 

This is because the power of emotional sentiment and self-interest, when coupled with a self-justifying mindset, is persuasive and dangerous. A person with this frame of mind is always ready to cover up his bad deeds or make them seem less onerous than they really are. The person does this at the expense of reason and logic. He ceases to think clearly. He only sees what serves his selfish interests, what absolves him from blame and responsibility. 

In his mind, the fault is always someone else's. Worse still, it is never just an innocent mistake. That other person is always deliberately and maliciously in the wrong and without any excuse. 

When we let our thoughts take us in this dangerous direction, we cease to be self-critical. Instead of acknowledging our mistakes and resolving to avoid them in the future, we become determined to commit the same mistake again and again. 

The most serious problem is a person's ability to justify to himself his deliberate errors and misdeeds. It is possible for a person to convince himself that his worst transgressions and acts of injustice are true and correct. He can reconcile in his mind the most blatant contradictions with far-fetched interpretations that make integrity and deception synonymous terms. He ceases to distinguish his rights from the rights of others, his personal interests from the needs of society. 

The self-justifying mind is one of oversimplifications. It is also very dismissive. It plays down the harm that one's bad and selfish deeds causes for other people, for society, and for the environment. When it cannot deny that harm, it always finds a way to rationalize it. By doing so, it belies the basic values and ethics that the person would otherwise be very well aware of and that are essential for the proper functioning of human society. 

Turning a blind eye to one's mistakes is an easy way to avoid guilty feelings and a sense of responsibility. However, this means that those mistakes will never be confronted and remedied. They invariably becoming larger, uglier, and more deeply-entrenched over time. Ignoring mistakes or justifying them does not make those mistakes go away. The only way we can make positive changes within ourselves is to be true to ourselves and in our dealings with others.